How the Cocaine saved my life….a Christmas tale

Being back home for the first time in several years has certainly been a learning experience and a chance for me to look back and relive my childhood trauma. Things that you didn’t really see growing up suddenly become crystal clean and thus you get this tale of how the Cocaine saved my life and while theres a chance this motherfucker might be stupid enough to sue me, I’m stating for the record he’s a scared little bitch. 

I’m talking about my former Stepfather

The guy is a living cartoon, a total drunk and a coward. Growing up he taught me how to fear since it wasn’t at all uncommon for him to get drunk and start screaming at me for any percived failing. I can’t tell you how many times he got two inches from my face telling me how I was going be a “ditch digging nigger”. This is why I spent more time in a Kitchen than I did at home since, despite the chaos, there was a system of order. If I showed up and did my job, everything was cool. If I fucked up I was called out on it. It made sense. 

The problem is that I worked at his bar. 

I got my start at the sports bar that my mother and he owned and as a result I ended up having to ride home with the guy more often than I wanted to. I’d get off at ten and damn near every night it was the same bullshit. “Just wait a few minutes, I’ll give you a ride home.” and this would always turn into several hours of him continuing to drink and talk shit with his fake ass friends. 

It just hit me….

I was standing outside literally 20 minutes ago having a smoke and it hit me ” How many times did this stupid fuck drive drunk with me in the car?”  It stunned me thinking about how many nights this happened and it made me wonder how the fuck we never died. 

I walked in the office, stunned and mentioned it to Mike who, in his instant understanding of the situation said ” It was the Cocaine”. By God he was right since my Stepfathers love for blow was the punchline for countless jokes and to this day I’m not convinced it’s his real nose, if so the man has superpowers. 

The point is that the only reason this jackass didn’t kill me in a drunk driving accident is the fact that he was high as a kite on shitty blow…. 

Yet my family thinks that it’s in past as I should let it go and listen to him tell me how proud he is of me, drunk as fuck just like old times…… Yeah, no thanks. 

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