Here we are again, that awkward time of year where it seems like everyone is in a jolly mood and feeling festive and, if you’re anything like me, you’re simply hate the fucking holidaze. I’m here to tell you, there’s nothing wrong with it and anyone who takes an issue can piss off.
For a lot of us, it’s traumatic.
While the season is supposed to bring out the best in people, it can often evoke the worst. Stress takes its toll on people and tempers flare and people tend to do some really dumb shit that can have a lasting effect. To put it simply, for a lot of people the holidays aren’t a happy time, it’s the anniversary of something really shitty happening that they get reminded of. We’ve lost family and friends, there’s an empty spot or two at the table and no amount of eggnog is going to fix it.
It’s really loud and bright.
There’s a part of me that gets really into the tacky lights and music and I even tried to put some up myself this year. But it’s a bit much when I can’t even go to the dispensary without getting ear fucked by Mariah Carey and having that stuck in my head for the rest of the day. People go nuts with this stuff and every year people feel the need to outdo whatever they or their neighbors did the prior year and it gets too loud for a lot of us. The term “panic attack” gets tossed around too loosely but for those of us who’ve had one, it’s like a bad acid trip with the volume at 11. I’ve had a few and would only wish a moment on it to those who think it’s a joke and see how well they keep their shit together.
It’s dark and we’re alone.
TV and media portray the ideal family and for a good portion of us, it’s not real by any means. A lot of people are hitting rough times, this year especially and when you’re flooded by the media in this respect, it’s hard not to feel like shit about being alone. It’s salt in an open wound and God knows I get it.
Everything is about a big happy family and it sucks when you don’t have one. In regards to my own, I miss em more than I can put into words but also know that they’re toxic and I’d have to keep my distance.
Alas, there is a light.
Ironically, the very base for this whole holiday season, whether it was the ancient Celts celebrating the Solstice or the Jewish celebrating hanukkah, the root of all of it is a flicker of light, a ray of hope on the darkest coldest night of the year. All the rest of it is just bells and whistles and other bullshit. We, as human beings, needed that reminder that we would pull through the winter just as a lot of you need this reminder now.
If you’re having a hard time this season, there’s a few things that you can do that might help get you out of the rut, even during this Covid mess. First of all, the Red Cross really needs blood and it only takes an hour to save a life. Also, there are a lot of volunteer opportunities that you can do online. Even something as simple as helping a kid with math homework can help lift your spirits.
Should things get really bad, please for the love of fuck, call and get help. 1-800-273-8255. There’s no shame in calling and I’ve had to do it myself so there you go.