I have a hard time taking anything seriously and while I may hate the industry, I still love to cook. I don’t care about titles or awards or any of that but I do care about what I put on the plate. If you want to cook with me, pay attention to the following.
1. Have your own knife
Notice that I say knife, not knives. You don’t need a full kit in most places and I sure as hell don’t expect you to have your own peeler or wooden spoons. But for fuck’s sake bring at least one sharp knife. It doesn’t have to be a top of the line hand forged piece of steel, just something sharp that does the job. Fun fact: Come to a stage without your own knife and you won’t get the job.
2. Don’t sleep with your staff
I can tell you this until I’m blue in the face but chances are you’re still going to do it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a lot of fun but it never ends well. I’ve done it a few times and the last time it almost ended with a brick getting thrown through my window.
3. 15 minutes early is on time and on time is late
Take a bit of pride in your work. I don’t take the time to write the schedule as a suggestion, I’m not hoping it works with your other plans and I don’t care about your bullshit excuses. Show up with enough time to get
4. Always keep a separation between Church and State
Leave your personal shit at home. While there are certainly exceptions, chances are that you’re not going to know, let alone be friends with anyone you work with now in a year. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have fun and be personal but do yourself a favor and play your cards close to your chest. People will use your shit against you and no one wants to work with someone who’s always bitching about how much their life sucks.
5. Know how to handle your drugs
I go into work every day stoned and yet neither you nor my bosses would ever know since I stay busy, I don’t fuck up prep or orders, even during a rush and I simply keep my shit together for the most part. I smoke weed so that I can stay focused but I never drink while I’m cooking since it makes me sloppy. A lot of people can’t handle taking a toke within hours and some guys need to be stoned to function. Know your limits and if things get out of hand, get help before you turn into a total fuck up.
6. Stay humble
No matter who you are, you really don’t know a damn and have a lot to learn so shut up and pay attention. While some of you young bucks might think your hot shit, the more time and experience that you get under your belt, the more you see how little you really know. There’s no summit or end game, it’s a constant process of evolution. On that note, you’re never ever ever going to be too good to wash dishes, take out the trash or mop the floors at the end of the night. If you think you are, you can get fucked. If you work for someone who thinks that they are, fuck em, find another gig, you’re not going to learn anything from someone like that other than how to be an asshole.
7. There’s no such thing as front or back of the house
There’s no such thing as “It’s not my job”. Those words or any variation
8. Fuck Sysco
Seriously, don’t waste your time ever using these bastards. Not only are they one of the single biggest factors to the decline of standards in the Culinary world, their products and
9. Always be ready for worst case scenario
If it can go wrong, it will go wrong. The split second you think that you have your shit together, something will go sideways. Your ice machine will break, your dishwasher will show up on shrooms (always entertaining but the fucker never brings enough to share) and a tour bus full of Kosher keto vegans will show up 10 minutes prior to close.
Always make sure you have your shit together, always make sure you have your backups. Make sure the guy to your left and right have their shit together since if they go down, so do you. If something needs to be done or could be done, don’t wait, do it.
This isn’t a joke. If you have any intention of setting foot in my Kitchen you better bring your fucking
Be a leader: Don’t be that asshole screaming Chef, be that Chef that people look up to and admire. Your job is work with and