Why my crackhead neighbor is more fit to be president

Sadly this is not a joke, things have literally gotten this point. I say this in utmost sincerity, my crackhead neighbor is better suited for president than Donald Trump. 

This woman is not without her flaws. In the six months that I’ve lived in East Oakland she’s threatened to kill me at least a dozen times. I’ve also watched her scream at pitbulls telling them to get off their lazy asses and get jobs.

She actually knows how to fight. 

Unlike our current president who’s dodged the draft this woman knows what it’s like to take a punch and still get back up. She’s not going to just send people out in the battle without understanding the real physical consequences of what it’s like to get your ass knocked the fuck out.

She loves her kids. 

As messed up as this woman is I’ve also seen her be a pretty caring mother to her children. She’s not perfect by any stretch of the imagination and I know DHS has been involved but there’s definitely a maternal instinct there that I’ve seen with my own eyes on numerous occasions. This is lacking in Trump, the man shows a complete void of real emotion when interacting with his family.

She hasn’t committed any war crimes. 

Attacking journalists, attacking medics, using illegal weapons against protesters these are all against the Geneva convention and these are all things that Donald Trump has done I don’t think she’s done any of this shit. In fact I’d be surprised if she even knew what the Geneva convention, was on that note.

She’s not totally stupid.

Sober, you know what fuck it, high off her ass, she can probably beat Trump in any standardized test you put her in front of them. I’m not saying she’s what I would consider intelligent, she’s not, but I guarantee you she would pass a math test a hell of a lot easier than Donald Trump is able to. Speaking of math….

To the best of my knowledge she’s never declared bankruptcy. 

Trump meanwhile has declared bankruptcy six times. Count em, 6 times, even I’m more financially responsible than that. I get it, you fuck up, you learn, you try harder. But at a certain point you need to reevaluate your strategy and listen to people who are actually successful. 

She may be an embarrassment to herself

And to the community but she hasn’t embarrassed the entire Nation. I have watched this woman cuss out pit bulls demanding that their lazy asses get jobs so she’s clearly not right in the head and everyone’s got a story or two to tell about her. In a way she’s a living legend in this neighborhood but she’s not the leader of the free world. I hate to say it but I’m sure if she was she would get her shit together a little bit better than he has. 

She’s not fit….

Neither am I and neither is he. That’s the problem, our nation, our democracy, deserve better than this. You’re telling me that in a nation of 328 million people this is the best that we can do? How many more people are going to die as a result of this man’s ignorance, incompetence and ego before we pull our collective head out of our ass?

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