You can’t own a life (a note about pets)

It’s sad that it needs to be said but simply, no one owns a life. Right now I’m talking about pets and those who act as if they’re some kind of status symbol or fashion accessory. They’re not and if you treat an animal like a possession, you…you’re a fucking asshole. 

No, I don’t have pets. 

I like the idea of getting a dog or a pig but the fact is that well, I’m a selfish bastard who would rather spend my money on drugs and my free time on my motorcycle. It’s the same reason why I made the choice years ago to not have kids. It’s not that I dislike kids or animals, it’s the fact that they deserve more than I’m willing to give. 

It’s not a hard concept.

When I was with my ex, I helped take care of the dog Tilly who I grew to love. I’m not a morning person by any means and the last thing I wanted to deal with was a hyper dog who needed to be fed and walked prior to having my coffee. That being said, I also can’t let something that’s dependent on me go hungry or need to take a piss to suffer just because I’m not in the mood. 

When you get a pet, you’re saying that you’re going to give it a better life than it would have otherwise on its own. If not, you’re just a selfish asshole. It’s your job to make sure that they don’t suffer or go hungry, that they stay warm and get plenty of attention and love. And yes, this even goes for cats. No, I’m not a cat person but yes, I’m the one who feeds my girlfriends cats since most of the time, I’m the first one up making coffee. And I’m not a total asshole. 

They love who they love. 

I’ve had to let a whole lot of shit go with my ex and I can get over most of it. One thing that I will never fucking forgive her for is that she didn’t let me say goodbye to Tilly because she wasn’t “my dog”. But for two years, I fed Tilly, I walked her, I cleaned up her shit and went out of my way to spoil her because I loved her. She was old and blind but she wasn’t def and you can’t tell me that she wouldn’t know the sound of my voice. Treating Tilly as a possession and not letting me say goodbye is by far one of the most selfish and sadistic things anyone has ever done to me.  

Think about it before you adopt. 

Are you willing to put the needs of the animals before your needs? Are you willing to pay the extra money for a pet deposit or lose out on your dream apartment because they don’t allow pets? Are you willing to give up the vacation you’ve been saving for if they need to go to the vet for an emergency? Are you willing to take the time to give them the same love and attention you would give a child? Are you willing to put their needs above your own? Or are you going to be like so many total assholes who put their pets up for adoption because they were too selfish and immature to handle the responsibility? 

Those of you who have pets, do me a favor and spoil em for me. Give em an extra treat, take em for a long walk or let em curl up on the couch with you. Show em some love from Culinary Anarchy. 

PS, fuck you Georgia Smith. 

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