Exposing the posers

I’ll be the first to admit, I’m not in the best state of mind right now. This fucking idiot though… Last night I get a like on my Instagram account and the guys name was irritating enough to draw my attention. For the sake of this article well just call him cockydouche.

I already knew what I was going to find. I knew cockydouche was going to piss me off but I had to look… I had to see how big this fuckers ego was. My God, I nearly spit out my drink. This kid, this child was too pretty to be a hostess let alone a dishwasher and by no means does he have the right to look a Chef in the eyes let alone call himself one. Okay, maybe I’m being a bit too harsh.

No… No I’m not. I’m willing to bet the guys hands are softer than the toilet paper I use to wipe my ass. Yet the guy acts like the Food network should be sucking him off and begging him to appear on camera.

I had to know more

I’ve earned my right to speak

I emailed him, simply to ask how long he had been cooking. Drumroll please… Want to take a guess? 5 years… I don’t know who I want to slap the shit out of more, cockydouche or whatever crackhead signed his bullshit “culinary degree” that only helped to inflate his ego. Truthfully, I don’t know if he went to school but I can’t imagine he’s ever put in a real shift in a Kitchen under a Chef that was anything other than a hack job drunk.

Okay, before you give me shit for knocking down the younger kids, that’s not the case. Anyone who’s followed me for a while knows that I’ve gone out of my way to mentor and encourage the up and coming generation. I’ve always aimed to inspire and be a positive role model and do whatever I can to help them avoid the pitfalls of the industry. But fuck if I’m putting up with ego or attitude.

Cockydouche needed to not be taken down a notch, he needed the ladder to be kicked out from under his ass an be humbled. Oh course, he didn’t see it this way. His ego can’t handle honest critique from someone who has earned the title. He blocked me….say it with me kids… “Like a bitch!”

True, I’m strung out as fuck yet and yet if you put me on the line I’d still humiliate the little bitch.

Guy’s like him give guys like me a bad name. True, I give Chefs a bad name but at least I’m honest. I sure as fuck don’t act like I’m the best ever and I will fully admit that a lot of you reading this could teach me a few things. I don’t get butt hurt by this fact, I enjoy it. I love the fact that I could be in Kitchens for the rest of my life and be able to learn everyday. This is why I go out of my way to collaborate with people who are way more skilled than I am.

This fucker though…

True, some of his plates are pretty. But they’re staged, there made at home under ideal conditions with no pressure, no stress. He can make one plate but I seriously doubt he could do it 300 times after being on his feet for 15 hours while on 4 hours of sleep. In fact I know he couldn’t, he’s too weak. He’d bitch the Kitchen is too hot and I’d toss his ass out the backdoor by the collar of his tailored jacket. Or just laugh at him while I continued to cook until he walked out tears.

The irony is that, on his feed he’s got a photo of himself with a cardboard cutout of fucking Gordon Ramsey, a guy who’s more famous for his tyraids than his food. So he glorifies a trash talking ego yet can’t handle someone who still actively cooks for a living calling him on his shit? The simple fact is that he won’t last another 5 years. After he gets out, he’ll still tell girls he was a Chef in a pathetic attempt to get laid. He’ll make some bullshit excuse why he doesn’t cook and exaggerate his skill.

Kids, being a Chef is not a fucking trend, being a Chef isn’t cool. I don’t give a shit how special your mother tells you that you are, you’re not. Until you’ve done at least 10 years, you need to shut up and pay attention to people who know what they’re doing. I know this offends some of you, I don’t give a fuck. Those who have lasted long enough to earn the title know I’m preaching the gospel. Those who have earned the title are just as fucking tired of the egos and posers as well.

The rest of you who have to cook, who do it for the right reasons, from the heart with love, we need you in the Kitchen. Guys like me will bend over backwards to train you and teach you everything we know. We’ll take you under our wing and push you to make you your best. Our days are numbered and we want to make sure the traditions and methods and recipes are passed on so that you can continue to feed the masses.

But if you act like a bitch I won’t hesitate to call you out.

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