Spring is here and most of us have been locked up and without human interaction for a while. This is no excuse to make an ass out of yourself and now more than ever, men need to step up and show some respect. Women are pissed and rightly so.
While you might not think you’re creepy, while you might not intend to scare her, there’s a really good chance you are, and you don’t even realize it.
The following is for those of you who aren’t toxic, just awkward, misguided, and don’t want to make a bad impression.
If you think you should fuck off, you should fuck off.
Pay attention!!!!! Not just to this article, pay attention to the person you’re trying to talk to. Pay attention to not only what they’re saying but body language and eye contact. If you’re unable to know when you’re making someone uncomfortable, nothing else in this article will do any good.
Listen, I work in Kitchens and I have said some foul things to women over the years but here’s the deal. I know who I’m talking to, I know who’s cool and who’s not and I pay attention to the audience. I might be able to say something one day and not the next day because she’s dealing with something else, whatever. The point is that my staff, men and women alike know that I respect them and they feel safe around me.
If a woman is interested, she will let you know. Assume from the start that A: She doesn’t know if you’re cool or a creep. B: She’s had at least the 5 other dudes hit on her today already and C: Most likely you’re not her type. Proceed with caution and understand that she has more than adequate reason to be apprehensive about talking to you.
Put yourself in her shoes.
You’re alone and some total stranger, often larger and stronger, comes up to you and starts talking about how pretty your eyes are or much worse while you ignore them. Then, because you’re not responding the way they expect you to, you’re suddenly getting screamed at or beaten. This isn’t a made-up scenario, this is happening right now to some chick at a bus stop somewhere as I type this.
Don’t approach when they’re unable to escape:
Guys, don’t hit on the cute barista while she’s working. Same thing with the waitress, bartender, hairdresser, bank teller, or even a stripper.
Now, if you see her out and about, okay, maybe but even then it can be weird.
Even when you’re out and about, pay attention to the surroundings and make sure that you’re not blocking her from being able to walk away. Don’t stand in from of the bathroom door or block the sidewalk.
Don’t follow her
If you saw her in the mall, don’t follow them to their car. Saw em on the bus, don’t get off and follow her unless it’s really your stop and even then, don’t be weird about it and give them plenty of room to feel safe. This kind of thing might work in the mind of some cokehead Hollywood screenwriter but in reality, it’s scary as hell and not charming at all.
Eye contact:
Really simple, make eye contact and if she looks like she’s not weirded out by you, then you can proceed. Please for the love of fuck understand that there’s a difference between keeping an eye on you because you’re making her nervous and checking you out because she’s into you.
Is her smile real or is she just hoping to get this interaction over with as fast as possible? Again, pay attention to the situation and put yourself in her shoes and how you would feel if the roles were reversed and you weren’t interested.
Avoid making comments about their appearance:
Keep it as casual as possible and polite. A simple “Good afternoon” is often enough. It’s polite, nonoffensive and just enough to strike a conversation.
What you don’t want to do is comment about their looks right out of the gate. Talk about the weather or ask their opinion on something. Let it build from there. If she responds, cool, take it from there. If she doesn’t respond, take it as a “No” and fuck off.
She doesn’t owe you anything.
Dude, like it or not, she doesn’t owe you a response or an explanation. If she ignores you, she has a reason. If you think she’s being a bitch, that’s your problem. I know it’s a shock to some of you but women have to right to act and do as they please, they’re not here to cater to your whims and sure as fuck don’t need your permission.
She’s not playing hard to get:
Half the time when she says she’s interested, she’s not really interested but is just being polite…… so when she says she’s not interested, it means no. If she makes it clear that she’s not into you, be a man and walk away. Doing anything else is only going to make you look like a douche and only work to reinforce her decision.
Food Pics>Dick Pics.
I’m shaking my head at the fact that I have to type this but after the feedback, I’ve gotten from women I have to say it. Stop sending dick pics guys, seriously just stop it. Women are not wired the same way you are and don’t respond to things the way you would. Not only is it not funny or cool but it’s also a crime in certain states now.
Now, if she asks for them, by all means, go for it. In that case, all I have to say is use lighting and angles to your advantage and take the time to send quality photos.
Consent.
It’s not a hard concept and it can be revoked at any point in time. Don’t like it? Tough shit. The second that consent is removed and you chose to ignore and continue, it’s at least harassment if not outright rape. She might have been into you but something changed and now she’s not, whatever, it’s her choice. This goes for everything from the first conversation to the middle of playtime.
Don’t assume either. Have enough respect to actually ask “Hey, are you enjoying this?” and listen to her response. It’s not going to kill the mood. It’s going to show her that you respect her and let her know she’s safe to say “No” if she chooses. And once again, if she says “No”, that’s it, you don’t argue, you don’t wine, you respect her choice and make sure she gets home safely.
Call out your friends…
Dudes have to call out other dudes, it’s that simple. If your brother steps out of line, let him know that shit won’t fly. By not saying anything, what you’re really saying is that you’re cool with this but since you’re a fan there’s no way you would put up with this. Not only is it just not cool, but it also makes you look bad for hanging out with a bunch of creepers. It’s the same thing with calling out your racist uncle during the holidays, it might be a bit awkward in the moment, it might cause a scene, but if it stops em from pulling that shit with someone else it’s worth it.
If it goes well, offer your number:
If she wants to continue she will but she might not feel safe giving you hers. Chances are she doesn’t want to be rude but she also doesn’t want (more) dick pics. If you give her your number, you’re putting the ball in her hands and letting her make the choice if she wants to continue the interaction or not.
Ladies…..
The last thing I want to do is tell you what to do or how to live but I also, for your safety, feel like I’d be doing a disservice if I didn’t offer the following advice. Fuck playing nice. Seriously, as much as I have refused to advocate violence, this is one of the very few exceptions. Buy some mace and don’t be afraid to use it if a bitch steps out of line. Don’t wait til it’s too late, don’t be a victim. If the motherfucker won’t back up after you’ve warned him and get’s in range, unload the canister on his ass. Make that vermin too scared to ever think about disrespecting another woman. Trust me, a few of you do this and these guys will back down.
Okay, true, you might have to deal with the cops and yes, this is going to suck but 99% of the time, in this situation you have nothing to worry about. It’s way better explaining to them what happened on the side of the road than in the hospital. Don’t be a victim.
PS….
Those of you who think I’m “Virtue signaling?” by taking the time to speak out. You’re the fucking reason I have to do this. And by the way, the only people I’ve ever heard use that term are Incels so……
One of the most important things to remember about approaching women is that going too far isn t just annoying to them—it can often make them feel unsafe. A guy that makes the conversation intense right off the bat and just won t back off fills their heads with thoughts of being followed or worse, and we re assuming that you re a normal person who wouldn t want that to happen. Take the hints when they re given and just leave someone alone when they re not reciprocating your advances. Oh, and let s not forget—if you consider yourself a nice person but won t leave someone alone at their request, consider that other people probably don t think you re so nice.