Dia de Los Muertos is certainly one of most misunderstood holidays anywhere. It’s not “Mexican Halloween” for starters but even most scholars disagree on the exact origins. Like most holidays, it’s the result of a convergence of cultures and faiths that have morphed into its current manifestation, a celebration of those who have passed. It’s a way for the community as a whole to honor the dead while coming together in grief.
I spend a lot of time in the Mission district which sounds odd for a 6’2 white dude who can’t speak Spanish. The reason being that it’s one of the most vibrant neighborhoods in the US and when it comes time for a celebration, they don’t hold back.
My friend Ricardo at Mixcolte made sure to tell me, “Come at Sunset, bring your camera.” with this laugh that can warm a room. He and his wife Connie have been running this place for years and help ensure the community has all the needed supplies. From the flowers and sage to rattlers, they bring it all up from Mexico for both locals and tourists…
Sadly there are a lot of tourists.
In a sense, I’m one since I’m not a local. The difference is that I’ve at least made an effort to learn as much about the culture as possible. While I won’t ever be a part of this world, I can’t help but stand in awe.
It’s a double edge sword since people in San Francisco pride themselves on being cultured, progressive and open minded almost to a fault. You’ll see the same people flood Chinatown in February for the Lunar New Years celebration (I’ll be there too I hope). While I appreciate the enthusiasm, it does crowd the people who are there for personal reasons if that makes sense.
It’s very much a day of mourning.
My mindset was on getting as much footage as possible. My heart is still very much grieving the loss of my Brother. He stayed in the back of my mind all day. He’s been on my mind in some way since I got the call 7 months ago. Walking by, most every business has an altar with photos, flowers and sage burning in a bowl paying respect to friends and family that ain’t with us on this side. The energy around these is different, it’s sacred.
I didn’t know any of these people in the photos and they damn sure didn’t know my brother yet, these people in the photos, these random strangers, they meant as much to the folks building these altars as he did to me. I felt a sense of respect and wanted to say “You get it, you understand, I’m sorry for your loss.” then give em a hug.
Delay delay hooray!
It’s my fault, I misread the signs and showed up several hours early and was worried I was late. No problem, I’m celebrating my Brother so what better way than going to Mission Cannabis Club. You buy $25 worth of product and you can go enjoy the upstairs lounge. My brother had never been to a place like this and he would have loved it.
I didn’t “participate”…
While I love and respect this culture, it ain’t mine and I’m not exactly sure what the boundaries are. This is why I played it safe. I didn’t paint my face, I didn’t get flowers, I didn’t light a candle. I was there to learn and observe.
A whole lot of people who know even less than I do did dress up. It’s kinda the same way people celebrate Christmas despite not be Christian or going to Church. I’m not bashing em, I’m just pointing out the difference between the two mindsets.
Night falls.
24th street turns into another world. Cops come out to block the street and direct traffic but aside from that, they’re mostly ignored by the locals. While the area might seem to be uncontrolled, there is still a sense of reverence. This ain’t a Fiesta, this is group therapy session for all of us who have lost someone. Locals take care of most of this and bullshit is handled quickly, in house.
The Parade…
When it finally made its way to 24th and Van Ness, it was worth the wait. The music, the smells of sage and cannabis, it feels like another world. Yet it was still the spectators that really made the celebration what it is.
I was fine most of the day, I was focused on getting the shots. It’s when people started walking by holding photos of those they lost that I had to take a step back. His picture is still my phone background and lock screen.
To my left, a gentleman was with his Grandmother who was clutching a full bouquet of Marigold flowers. It was clear that she was there to pay respects in the way that she was raised. She was there to honor her family and the traditions they passed on to her, the way she was teaching her family so when her time comes, they will honor her memory here.
Being surrounded by so many others who understood exactly what I was dealing with was healing. We were all handling our grief in our own way yet there was a sense of unity. I didn’t know em, they didn’t know me yet we understood each other.
Show respect…
There’s a part of me that doesn’t want you to go to this. I don’t want randos showing up and making it into a social event. I don’t want Instagram models making this into a social event.
I know this is unavoidable and yet this is how these things get watered down, commercialized and lose what made them important.
In closing…
I dig it, I’ll be doing this from now on, a day of both celebrations and mourning to pay respects to our loved ones. Last night opened my eyes and helped me deal with some of grief. I was a bit out of my element but loss is one of those things that’s bigger than language and culture. No matter who you are, how much money you have, etc, you’re going to lose someone you love. This is a way to come together and start healing.