I was on hold when I felt the spirit of my Old Man saying “Enough! You’ve proved your point now stop!”. The bastards been dead for nearly 5 years now and yet it feels like he’s still here. He raised me better, he raised me to always take the high road despite my pride and ego and never kick a man while he’s down. Most importantly, he taught me, through example, to practice compassion at all times.
This motherfucker though…
I come from an era when you understood that, if you talked shit and crossed the line, you would probably get punched in the face. Now, thanks to the internet, it’s not like that and people think they can say whatever they want without consequences.
I’m going to leave out the details but this guy went way too far. Even he’ll admit that. Despite the fact that I maybe weigh 145 on a good day, I’ve got a bit of a temper and in person would have sucker punched his ass before he’d been able to say a tenth of the shit he did. I’m a pacifist sure, but I’m not a bitch.
Ahhhhh those nights around the Kitchen table.
It was never formal Zen. The Old Man was a legit Buddhist monk, the robes, beads, whole nine yards and yet he never preached. I’d come with some bullshit questions and he had a way of provoking the answer out of me. He knew how to make me look inward to find my own truth since that was far more relevant than taking his word.
We need compassion now more than ever.
Ohhhh…. I wanted this motherfucker bad. I had every reason to shut his ass down. I just don’t have the stomach to anymore. I just lost everything 6 weeks ago and I’m going to be fucked in the head for a while. You’d think it would make me cold and bitter but it hasn’t. At the end of the day, despite having every right and reason, I just can’t fucking take action I know will harm others. Maybe I’m a pussy, maybe I’ve lost my edge? We all know I’ve already lost my mind yet somehow I’m a better person because of it.
I settled things
Peacefully, much to my surprise. For this I’m grateful since it gives me hope. If this motherfucker and I can find a way to work shit out, humanity might have a fucking chance. It starts small and snowballs.
Here’s my quarantine challenge.
Make amends with someone you have beef with. Own your part of the situation and make it right. When they ask why, tell em the ghost of Kirby Sanders said to.