A reckless guide to facing the impending shit storm.

A reckless guide to facing the impending shit storm.

I’m writing this from Oakland California and let me tell you, it’s weird out here right now. Saturday night and the streets are empty. There’s a collective sense of fear and uncertainty that’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. People are scared and confused and no one really knows what’s going to happen in the next few days or weeks.

While I want oh so very much to believe that this whole thing is going to pass, I’m mentally preparing myself for the worst. I’m also mentally ill so keep that in mind while following the following advice.

Do drugs.

If you have ever wanted to try something, nows your chance. Personally, I recommend staying away from trash like speed or really anything you can OD on. But things like weed and mushrooms, oh hell yeah! While it might not seem like the best time to trip balls, it does help with both anxiety and depression and right now, you’ve got the free time.

Start a garden

Who knows how bad things are going to get and even if this passes, having a garden is never a bad idea. Even if you live in an apartment, you can still figure out some kind of window box set up.

But it’s expensive? Not really, if you make due with what’s on hand. Coffee cans make decent starter pots and dirt is dirt cheap. I’m not saying that you need to start a farm but growing plants is therapeutic and will give you something to focus on.

Get to know your neighbors

Talking art

If shit gets really weird, your 2,000 friends on Facebook ain’t gonna do shit. It’s your next door neighbor who’s going to be there to cover your ass. Seriously, now more than ever, we’re in this shit show together and we need to look out for each other.

Do some yoga

Most of us are losing our mind out of not only mental boredom but physical as well. We’re used to going 90MPH for 10 – 12 hours a day 6 days a week. We’re not the kind of people to sit down. Most of us are to some extent, addicted to our own bodies endorphins and other chemicals. Right now, we’re going through withdrawals and it’s making us act like even bigger assholes than normal. Take a half hour a day to stretch and stay limber and you’ll feel a lot better and less pissy.

Clean your fucking Kitchen

I can’t tell you how many Chefs I know who run damn near spotless restaurants yet their Kitchen at home is a wreck. A lot of this has to do with the fact that most of us just don’t have the time or energy to cook at home. Well now we do….

Clean your fridge, consolidate the bs and make the most of your space. I’m more than willing to bet you have some scary shit buried in the back of your cabinets that you forgot about.


While it’s frustrating and scary as fuck right now, we need to use this as a chance to play with new ideas and not worry about the customers. We’re still Chefs, we still have ideas. Pull out those cookbooks and get inspired, play with some new concepts and be ready to go back fresh when this mess settles.

Another good mind fuck I use is to randomly pick one ingredient and write a 9 course menu with it, just to keep the creative juices flowing. You’ll come up with some odd ideas but one or two might stick and be a hit with your customers.

In closing

I’m dealing with a broken heart so honestly, I really don’t give a fuck what happens. I’m far more concerned about you folks who have a reason to live.

I don’t know how this is going to play out, if or when it will pass or what the fuck to do next, I’m going through the same thing you are. What I do know is that, even outside of the Kitchen, we tend to be some savage, resourceful motherfuckers. We’re leaders who face chaos daily and without fear. No matter what happens, we’re gonna handle this.

One comment

  1. Theresa Bell

    You’re back in Oland? You do get around! I started a patio garden…cleaned the kitchen cabinets, cooked so much food I gave a lot away to my neighbors, breaking out the Sous Vide module…intimidating to me but we’ll see who “wins”.

    Two things I haven’t done..no weed to be found and Yoga..um no. Maybe I’ll for for a 3 mile walk…

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