This is Culinary Anarchy.
Unorthodox. Uncensored. This is a site about food, cooking and life. If you don’t have a sense of humor or are easily offended then enter at your own risk. For the rest of you…
The goal of this site isn’t to give you a bunch of recipes but to give you a solid understanding of the basics so that you are able to create in a Kitchen for yourself. The recipes are “Blank Slates” and are purposely kept simple so that you are able to play around with the concept.
Take a look around, we cover a wide range of topics. Start here if you’re looking for Kitchen how-to or check out the Break Room for hedonistic entertainment.
This site is still evolving and we need your feedback so let us know what you want to know about. If you like what you see, please spread the word, subscribe or follow us on twitter @culinaryanarchy.
Thanks for reading
News
March 22nd 2013 8:35 am
Spring has sprung at last, I think I even saw the sunshine the other day when I went outside. In regards to the lack of updates, well, from time to time I hit writers block and would rather not publish than put out work that doesn’t live up to standards.
Starting this week we will start having live interviews with the unsung hero’s of the culinary world and as soon as we get the dates and time they will be posted.
In other news, Scotland is voting on Independence from the assholes in the south and despite my utter lack of respect for any type of government or authority, this is a cause that is very near and dear to my heart. We have just under a year and a half so more post’s will follow.
Another reason for the lack of new articles is that I am in the final stages of a major project and have been working around the clock on it.
March 3rd 2013, 2am
Well my friends, spring is almost here and as we posted the other day, we are in the process of several changes to the site. We got the Swag shop opened and new designs will be coming soon. Amazing Dave is hard at work editing video right now and I want each and everyone to give him a round of applause. Anyone that is able to deal with my bullshit for as long as he has deserves a medal. Maybe one day I’ll even be able to pay him.
Slowly but surely things will be getting reorganized but I need feedback, I need to know what you think, what you want, what its going to take to get you to tell your friends.
February 22nd 2013
After some slight delay, we now have net that doesn’t suck thus I can get back to keeping you the readers entertained. In other awesome news we get to welcome back the amazing Dave to the team. Dave has been around since the start and without him this site would suck a lot more than it does. With any luck we will have videos up in the next two or threes weeks. Stay tuned…
February 10th 1am
Sorry about the lack of updates this week, I pulled a tendon in my leg and needed to sort of unplug for a minute.
I can’t say what’s going on but please keep your fingers crossed because we might have some really good news for a change on Monday.
I will have new articles ready soon so be chill, you know I rather wait till things are awesome before I publish than put out shit
Febuary 1st 2013 3:00 am
Insomnia. Its late and my mind wont shut down. I’m plotting and scheming my next step and really all I want to do is just cook. I’m not good at this planning thing. I don’t do well with structure. But this is where “Checkers and Chess“ kind of comes into play.
In order for me to make this site a success I have to have a plan. In order to reach you the reader I have to get out of the mindset that has served me so well as a Chef for the past decade. This is still new territory for me, old methods won’t work.
This is where I sing your praises. Despite all of the bullshit its my readers that really keep me going and not letting me shelf this project when things get annoying. Despite everything, the message is getting through to some of you and the change that I want to see in the world is happening. Thank you, Crown, *Vicky, Wheeler, Rexxx, X, and to many others to name. Thanks fofr taking the time to remind me there is a reason for all of this. Thanks for having my back when you had every reason to leave me to my own devices.
January 27th 2013 10:00 pm
A long strange week that ended on a high note. I was able to teach the first of what I hope to be many private cooking classes and the client liked me enough to sign on for another class this week. Then I has the shortest interview of my life, no more then two minutes at most and was then asked to go cook a meal on the spot. This is how I like to play.
We have several new articles this week such as Roasted Red Peppers, a review of a steampunk show I just saw as well as one on Long boarding, If you want to stay up to date, you need to subscribe since I tend to publish sporadically at best.
So stay tuned and as always, share on the interweb.
January 21st 2013 2:00 pm
Well happy Martin Luther King Jr day !!! Sorry for the lack of updates over the past few days, I’ve been trying to do research and get things ready to start teaching very soon (yes, I am available for private lessons and catering). I’ve also had a really bad case of writers block which happens from time to time. I can cook for 18 hours a day and be fine but my mind turns to shit after a few hours at a desk.
We are still working on doing live video feed very soon but the computer I’m using kinda sucks so we are looking at options. But its gonna happen since most of you don’t really have the attention span to read a full article ( I have google analytics, I pay attention to this shit) But in the meantime, if you want to see the site grow, please share us with the world via the social links. Let your friends and the rest of the world know.
New articles coming very very soon.
January 17th 2013 11:00 pm
So the first attempt at doing live video was a total failure but this is a good thing, we saw the flaws and since it was only a test run, things will get better as the site gets bigger.
And I want you to keep this in mind when you’re cooking. The first site I built kinda sucked but it gave me the insight on what not to do and what I was trying to accomplish with this site. The first few cheesecakes I ever made turned out like shit too. So you burn it and rebuild it.
It feel like I’m working around the clock and while I’m happy with the progress, I still need feedback. I need to know what turns you on and what gets you off. What do you want to read about? Whats it going to take to make you want to call your friends and insist they read this thing?
January 13th 2013 7:00 pm
So on paper everything is great. This site is getting bigger everyday and the amount of love and support that I’ve been shown is humbling, and I’m talking about people that don’t know me personally and have no need or reason to sugar coat anything.
On other levels my life is in the shitter and I’m not sure how to fix it. It’s sorta hard to write and sound enthusiastic and witty when the truth is, I’m having a real hard time coming up with reasons to give a shit. Long story short, I don’t matter outside of a Kitchen. The truth is ugly sometimes but I’ve never pulled punches and don’t plan on starting now. I’ll figure something out.
January 7th 2013 11:51 pm
Real quick folks, you can also find us on Facebook and on Twitter @culinaryanarchy. I’m working hard on several new posts over the next several days so please continue to share with your friends. I know its hard to believe but some people still haven’t heard of Culinary Anarchy yet, lets change that. Go!!!
January 7th 2013 11:11 am
This site is picking up momentum fast then I expected and I’m not complaining at all, it just motivates me to stay up a bit later and try to get more and more work done. Thank God there’s a coffee stand up the street that has really good mocha’s cause this home brew isn’t going to cut it. For the rest of you its Monday but for me it’s Friday which means that there will be a lot of new articles published over the next three days.
In other news, I had an awesome interview this morning for a teaching position and they even dig the site since they are looking for someone with “Big personality” and I have a second interview on Wednesday. So wish me luck.
Special thanks to several new followers, we wouldn’t be able to do this without you.
January 4th 2013 11:11 pm
Damn, today was a great day for the site so I just wanted to say thanks for reading and sharing. But if there was only some way for me to know what you wanted to see more of……..
In other news, I am currently looking for a new Kitchen in the Seattle area. I’ve taken the last 6 months away from running the show but it’s time for me to leave my current position and move on to something that better utilizes my skills. In other words, if you are looking for a Chef to take over your Kitchen, send me some details and lets talk.
Once again, thank you for the readership and support, you are the reason I write this thing.
January 3rd 2013 1:45 am
Its late, I’m stoned, whats new? The point is I’ve been working around the clock on this site but it doesn’t matter what I think of it, its a matter of what you think of it.
So right now I have over 30+ articles in the drafting stage but I need to know what it is that you want to see published. What are you hungry for? What do you want to know about? Come on people, this is the internet! Speak your mind! What are you craving !?!?
January 1st 2013 12:03 am
Happy fuckin New Years!!! Most likely you are reading this hungover so just dig this.
Shits getting big for us this year. Check out the tour page to see if we are going to be cooking near you anytime soon and if not, then get in touch and lets make something happen!
Right now I’m working on this thing more hours per week then I am my paying gig so if we suck, please tell us why, if you dig this site then share it with your friends and join the mailing list. We’re also on twitter (uncensored as fuck).
I’m slightly fucked up right now but I’m gonna tell you this, this year is going to be fucking awesome!!!
December 28th, 2012 11:40 am
Thank God the Holidaze are just about over and now all I have to deal with is New Years Eve. It’s Friday but its really my Tuesday which really doesn’t matter much since I’m running non-stop trying to get this site up to its full level of awesomeness.
On of the big things we are trying to plan is a party at Westboro Baptist. I know it sounds odd but read the article and it will make sense.
The thing is, this site depends on you so please, if you like what you read, share it with your friends. If its sucks, leave a comment and tell me what you think.
It’s a full moon out tonight so who knows what strange adventures I’ll get into later……stay tuned.
December 24, 2012 3:40 pm
A little Christmas cheer for my readers
You have to love it when Santa has a Pit Bull pulling his Cadillac…… Regardless of what you believe, where you are at or who you are with, have a very safe and happy Holidaze, And tell someone you love them.
December 22, 2012 12:21 pm
Son of a bitch, I was starting to think that I would never get this site up and running again but thanks to perseverance and working overtime, we are live again at last.
Much thanks for all the love and support over the past few months. Its going to take me a few more days to get the bugs out of the system and get things back up and running but its going to be worth it.
We have some very big plans for the new year including a summer tour so if you have an event and want to be on the site, please contact me for details. As always, the stranger the better.
We will also have a book for sale in the next few months as well as T-shirts and other cool swag.
As always, I have to plead that you share with you friends and spread the love
Thanks and happy Holidaze
October 9th 2012 8:15 pm
Yeah yeah yeah, I’ve been slacking off big time. But it’s also been due to shit moving at what feels like a thousand fucking miles a minute. Plus I’ve been in a rather introspective and pissy mood the past few days and I like to keep things upbeat. It’s not that things are bad, not by a long shot, just odd as fuck. I’ve got to figure out a place to live and cook when I leave here and I need to figure it out soon.
Yes, I have been taking notes and I will been publishing the full story soon, but first I have to finish living this whole thing. Dear fucking God the past few weeks have been strange and keep in mind I know strange, we’re homies.
I turn 32 on Friday and I will say that I am rather disappointed in myself. I was sure as sunshine that my between my luck, my hedonistic appetite for just about everything self destructive and total lack of common sense that I would have taken myself out by now. But fuck it, I’m going to do my best to have some type of fun out here. We’ll see how well that works
October 2nd 2012 8:15 pm
Woke up in need of some pain and ended up going to Yoga class again and I have to say, this place is fucking hardcore, this isn’t some bullshit stripmall spot for soccer moms, The old man, who at 65 is in far better shape than I’ve ever been in, admitted he was trying to break me and was impressed at my fortitude to keep getting back up. Its one of the strangest compliments I’ve even gotten but I’ll take whatever love I can get right now.
I will hopefully be posting the recipe for Chocolate Bacon Beer Bread tomorrow but since I have to look at old notes and the fact that I can’t actually make it here makes it kinda hard, plus I haven’t made the stuff in a year and I was really stoned when I did. But I’ll figure it out….
Hey fuckos, my birthday is next Friday, go donate to the site so I can go party like a real rockstar. I love all of you!!!
October 1st 2012 8:15 pm
What a fucking day……..
Details aside I was able to handle several potentially disastrous situations with a rather amazing amount of grace. It’s not that I’ve lost the edge, its that I’m trying to look at the big picture. Things are changing a lot faster then I thought they would and I’m just trying to flow.
I’m not going to be staying in Hawaii much longer, at least not at the Yoga Center. We talked, everyone is happy with what’s happening and there is no hostility. Most likely I’ll end up in Seattle but then again, I never really know where I’ll land until I’m there. If anyone is looking for a Chef please contact me, I’m open to new experiences and really don’t want to get stuck in another fucking bar gig.
I also learned the local customs of Kava and the fact that you can use a mango branch as a bowl, I’ve smoked out of a lot of strange things but this was one of the coolest.
I’ll post a recipe tomorrow I promise but right now my brain is in desperate need of rest.
September 28th 2012, 8:00 am
Well I finally sucked up my pride and took my first Yoga class in yet another attempt to make some positive changes in my life and well, I got my ass kicked. I know I’m in bad shape but I am way more sore than I thought I would be. So yes, I will be going back, just not today.
I’m counting down the days til my girl comes out for a visit and I have a few suprises for her but since she reads this almost daily, I really can’t go into details other then to say this. I’ve pulled off some cool shit in my life but this raises the bar…… Fuck it, I love her, she’s worth it.
September 26th 2012, 8:00 pm
It’s time to show some special love to a long time reader and one of the biggest assholes I’ve ever met who just made a very nice donation to the site. I’ve known this kid since high school and I’ve never really liked him but I’d take a bullet for him none the less. Its like I was telling my special lady friend earlier, if there are people stupid enough to donate to Mitt Romney there have to be people crazy enough to help keep this site going. That asshole cant show you how to make tasty Breakfast Blunts, but I can. And I’m not the Antichrist (despite the rumors)
In other strange news, I’ve only eaten a very small amount of meat since I got to Hawaii 10 days ago, a few pieces of sausage on a pizza last week and some pork fried rice on Sunday. I hate to admit it but I feel better. No, I am NOT turning into a fucking hippy !!! Cooking this stuff has been a challenge but its also interesting to see what I can pull off. And no, I will never in a million years swear off meat all together or give up things like butter, but I came out here to make some positive changes in my life so I’m giving this a shot. Don’t worry, I’m getting ready to post an rant on the whole Vegetarian thing soon.
Again, thanks Josh for showing some love and even if you can’t donate dollars, help keep us going by sharing with your friends and posting this site on other social networks. Also, let us know what you want to know about since I’m always looking for new ideas. Believe it or not but I do give a shit what you think….
September 24th 2012, 9:00 pm
My first week out here has been and utter blur and I’m doing my best to keep up with both the new gig, the lifestyle on the island and everything else that’s been going on. I was able to get two new recipes published this week, Brown Rice as well as Ratatouille and I’m hoping you will enjoy them as much as the students here have.
And yes, we are also now taking donations to keep this site going since this thing isn’t cheep, you can show your love by clicking here. Every little bit helps and I would love to get a real camera since all the shots you see where taken on my phone, and I think my bill is overdue.
Several people have commented on there jealousy of my current situation, half joking of course. My response to them and you is this: Don’t be jealous or envious of me, be fucking inspired to go do cool shit and stop making excuses why not!!! Get off your ass and go live !!!
September 19th 2012, 8:30 am
Finally starting to get used to this place though I know I’ll never really get used to being here. The place and people are amazing and I’m taking notes on everything. I’ve cut way back on the coffee and smoking and haven’t eaten meat in 3 days now. Granted I’m going to town tonight to find and consume some type of swine to consume because there is something to be said about gradual change.
In other news, I’m in love. Its a long story but I was reunited with an ex from high school and one thing has led to another but as strange as it is, I’m happy as fuck. It was totally unexpected and the best way I can describe it is that she is everything I never knew I always wanted. She’s not a Chef but she is the first girl I’ve ever wanted to cook with and not just for if that makes any sense. No, this didn’t happen overnight, it’s been going on for a while and I don’t toss the term around lightly. But its more real then anything else I’ve experienced in a long time.
Now that I’m starting to settle and recover from the jet lag, I will be getting new recipes published soon. As always I need feedback and yes, unlike most, I do take requests and I need to know what you want to see on this site. Speak your mind people!!!
September 17th 2012, 1:30 pm
Somehow I made it.
I’ll post the details at another time but the short story is that I pulled into Kona yesterday in just enough time to check in to my hostel, score a bag and catch the most epic fucking sunset I’ve ever witnessed. I found a bar where I was able to smoke inside and had some crazy ass old sailor telling me the same five racist jokes over and over. He reminded me of my Grandfather.
I passed out for a few hours and caught a bus to the other side of the island. I’m in the Jungle baby!!! We have chickens. It’s utter paradise and I am blown to shit shocked that I’m sitting here writing this. You know what though, I’m gonna go skate to the beach instead and write more later, they told me we have wild pigs out here.
September 14th 2012, 3:30 am
So just a heads up, things are going to be beyond crazy the next few days until I land on the island so there most likely wont be posting much of anything new until next week. Once I get settled this site will be kicking ass in no time.
September 13th 2012, 1:00 am
My sincerest apologies for not having a ton of updates this week, I’ve been busy as hell trying to get things ready to hit the road again. I’m still not used to the idea of this yet, mentally I know I’m going, my ticket has been paid for and I have people hungry and waiting.
Not to get to0 personal but my entire fucking life has been flipped to shit and upside down the past few weeks. I saw the storm brewing, the winds shifting, I was ready. Its been awesome!
I have no idea what’s going to happen when I get out there, I never do. But one thing is for sure, it’s going to make for some highly interesting articles. Thanks for your continued patience as I try to get my shit together.
September 9th 2012, 2:15 pm
Sorry for the lack of update. I’m in the middle of selling my stuff, packing and getting ready to leave Seattle in less then a week. So much to do and so little time and it doesn’t help that my mind is racing. But things are coming together and I’m trying to spend as much time with my friends out here before I leave since they are really what makes Seattle so cool.
And relax, just because I’m going to be cooking at a Yoga center doesn’t mean I’m gonna become a hippy. I don’t think a Morphine drip could dull my edge. But I do hope to be able to step back for a bit and get centered. I’ve been blessed with an amazing opportunity and I hope to make the most of it.
New recipes in the next day or two so please subscribe, like us on facebook and share with your friends. Thanks
September 7th 2012, 10:15 pm
It’s time to save some TITTIES !!!
Slow night at the bar and I ended up drinking with the one waitress that I never talk to for some reason. Turns out she’s cool as shit but she let me know that one of the other girls has Breast cancer which is total bullshit. So are we gonna send our sympathies ? Fuck no!!!
I’m sending this chick all my badass Scottish ass kicking super powers cause this shit just isn’t gonna fly. I’m not sure what else to do but I’m gonna totally use this site to do something so if you love Titties then follow us cause something’s about to go down. This site is about making shit happen, not sitting on the sidelines.
September 6th 2012 1:30 am
All I can say is wow. I applied for both gigs on Monday as a joke and now I’m catering a fetish video shoot next Saturday, packing my knives and catching a flight out of Seattle a few hours later to go live on the big island for an undetermined amount of time.
Would you be able to sleep?
I have to write a menu, work my bar gig, pack and get my head together.
Since I’m going to live at a yoga center, I think I’m going to try and take advantage and learn as much as I can. I’ll be cooking for the place full time but I’ll also have time to take a few classes and spend more time meditating. Plus I’ll be able to surf.
Fear not loyal fans, I will still be writing this full time and I’m already looking in to making some cool stuff happen. I want to learn how to do a traditional Hawaiian pig, and I want to video it and share it with you guys. Big adventures on the Big Island……
September 5th 2012 4:00 pm
Looks like this show is hitting the road way sooner then we had planned. I just got a call from a spot out on the big island of Kona and well………
I”M MOVING TO HAWAII !!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am beyond words right now……more details coming soon.
September 3rd 2012 5:45 pm
Somehow just booked a gig catering a fetish porno shoot next Saturday. See people, I told you I was available to cater strange events. Contact me for info and rates
September 3rd 2012 2:45 pm
The old site was called Life in Randori. A strange name for a Cooking site but I wasn’t really thinking about that when I started writing since I had no goals other then to see what would happen. Point is that Randori was an old training exercise when a guy was literally attacked from all sides so that his mind would be broken and the right technique and response would arise without hesitation. And this also applies to life in the Kitchen and Life period.
So when you get a call at 5am on a Monday morning from a beautiful woman who wants some company do you A: tell her your asleep and hang up or B: Get dressed and grab your board then haul ass to the U-district? If you answered A then fuck off and stop reading cause you suck. Better yet, stay and maybe you might learn to live a little.
I fully understand that some if not most of my opinions may be brash and a little extreme, I know that some of you might get offended but that’s why we have a comment section below. Feel free to speak you peace.
September 3rd 2012 1:30 am
Before I post say anything else I have to send some very special love to some girls down in Oakland who are now fans of the site. And they’re Dominatrix’s!!!! FUCKING AWESOME !!! Any time you ladies get hungry you know I’m ready and willing to come down and play, I mean cook, as if there’s a difference.
No, I’m not surprised that things are working out as strange as they are. It’s par for the course. I’m gonna have to go pimp myself out to another restaurant this week. Not exactly what I had planned on doing but I’ve got bills to pay and this site isn’t doing that (yet). Yes I miss cooking full time but really don’t want to deal with the bullshit of the industry. Boo fucking hoo.
I’m already getting some good feedback and I always need more so don’t be shy, I only bite when there’s a safe word involved.
September 1st 2012 7pm I think
Well well well, we finally pulled it off and this site is now live.
For those of you who ended up here without a clue as to what you’re getting into, I’m a Chef and this is a site about food.
If you’re easily offended, go to church on the regular or think that smoking grass and eating bacon should be outlawed, hit the back button now and then go fuck yourself.
I think the rest of you will dig it, I hope so and if not then let me know. I try to cover the basics on this site and keep things simple enough to where you have the room to play around and put your own spin on things. I want you to learn you’re own way to cook and I want to give you the tools to do so.
Play around and if I don’t cover something you’re looking for then send me an email. New recipes will be posted regularly and soon we will be posting video. Also, I know that the spelling and grammar sucks, I’m a Chef, not an English major but I have a friend who will be working on that for me.
Like us? Love us? Share us with your friends homie !!!
Now its time for you to read, get psyched and go cook!!!